Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Sigh

That's a good sigh.  32 weeks today!  Getting really excited about meeting Amelia and welcoming her to Team D.  Got the iron ons in the mail yesterday, washed the clothing today, should be crafting soon!

Team D (minus the cats) had a great weekend - we took an impromptu-ish road trip!  Jason needed to do some site visits for work, so we joined him.  We made stops in Hermiston, Redmond, Bend (overnighted), Springfield, Eugene, Woodburn (overnighted) (all in Oregon) and White Salmon and Wishram, WA.  I was smart and booked us two room suites, so Aggie could go to bed and we (okay, I) could stay up and watch cable - how I love HDTV!  My friend, Miranda, graciously loaned us her portable DVD player, which was a life saver.  Before kids, we swore we'd never use one.  Now, we're pondering making an investment in one and Shawn the Sheep DVDs.

Aggie's going through some changes right now.  She's becoming more clingy, which is totally normal for a kid her age.  I'm trying to roll with it - comfort and stay with her when I can, give her a kiss and walk away quickly when I can't.  Sometimes it's hard, sometimes annoying.  She also doesn't listen too well lately; I should rephrase that - she's testing boundaries.  Another totally age appropriate thing, but I got very tired of hearing myself say yesterday, "No, Aggie!"  When I can, I try to let go of those things that aren't a big deal and just go with the flow (like her wanting to go upstairs when I'd prefer to stay down), and being consistent with other things (like playing in the pets' water dish).  I try to say 'no' a few times before physically removing her from the situation, so she has a chance to make a better choice (something she used to do - and I'm sure (hope, pray) she'll do again one day).

And speaking of behaviors you wish your children would not engage in, I read a great post on Pacing the Panic Room about toddlers brains being like sponges and soaking up both good and bad influences.  This part really hit home:

  • Will I accept the credit for the bad qualities that she takes on from all of this sponging? If our kids grow up a little and they haul off and smack someone in the teeth, or they choose to bully weaker kids, will we say: "they learned that one from me?" Most parents immediately get all defensive and surprised and say: "Where on earth did you learn that from? Not from us!" Never thinking for a second it could be from them.

This reminded me of a struggle Aggie and I had during the road trip (over the DVD player of all things) and Jason asked if I could, essentially, tone the drama down.  I do engage in power struggles with Aggie more than I'd like.  Part of the reason we continue to do so is because I set that example.  So, continuing to work on dialing down the drama.  Perhaps that can be a code phrase or something - time to triple D this situation.

Aside from parenting topics, I can also discuss what's happening in Egypt, the state of forensic pathology in America and how you get no sick days on unemployment.

3 comments:

Amandaw said...

I often hear people say to "pick your battles" with your kids. This is so true. Sometimes I just have to let things go. I'm anal retentive about things getting dirty and messy. There are so many times I have to say to myself things like "your kid is just having fun rolling down the hill, chill about the grass on the new sweater...who cares." I especially had to learn to "tone down the drama" when I realized my daughter was starting to act to much like me. No need for her therapy sessions to sound similar to mine.

sunnywave said...

hug. we do our best, don't we? and celebrate the strengths and meet our challenges with the best of intentions but with all of our embedded imperfections. in a perfect world we'd all dial down the drama, but then...we'd be perfect. which...oh yeah, i'm not. $4*t. sigh. btw, LOVE shawn the sheep! and wallace & gromit!

Nanimal said...

LOL.... Connor is just like me now... and it irritates the crap out of me. His expectations for the ones he loves are HUGE and so is his love and protectiveness.
I catch myself wincing when he is harsh with Finn over something and I correct him while painfully thinking (pot... meet kettle). So in the end I talk to him (and he is 10 now - so totally different - obviously) about making different choices and how we can choose to some extrent the things we want to carry with us into our lives from our parents and other things we can improve on. I talk about how I scream less than my Mom - but have trouble with other things. I figure as I make him cogniscient as we go along on this journey at least that is something. He is very empathetic however... Finn will be different and he is waaaaay more like Chris - so it is a lot easier for me to 'manage' him and it is really hard for Chris.
I have read that the 1st born takes ont he characteristics of the more dominent parent and the 2nd born the lesser dominent. I find that true in our house - but I am sure this is not consistent.