Monday, November 28, 2011

More Messages from the Universe

Below is my for this week horoscope from Free Will Astrology:

In Woody Allen's film Midnight in Paris, the Ernest Hemingway character says, "All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well enough." Given the state of your current astrological omens, Taurus, that is an excellent piece of advice. I suspect you are going to be asked to call on previously untapped reserves of courage in the coming weeks -- not because you'll have to face physical danger but rather because you will have a chance to get to the bottom of mysteries that can only be explored if you have more courage than you've had up until now. And the single best way to summon the valor you'll need is to love like a god or goddess loves.

On the right path...

I just had to share this, given last night's post.

Everyday, I receive a Daily Thought in my inbox from Real Simple.  This is the quote I received this morning:

"To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first." - William Shakespeare

Should the universe be sending me a message, I think it's now telling me I'm on the right path.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


My dearest friend, Ms. Heather, talked to me about articulating intentions, that by doing so, you aid in accomplishing them. 

Here are my intentions for this week:
  1. get out of bed Monday through Friday at 5:40 am
  2. be in bed by 8:45 pm each night (except Saturday)
  3. read chapter 1 of The Happiness Project 
  4. when I feel angry, take a deep cleansing breath
  5. write and send one thank you note

The Climb

Things are...okay.  Fragile and tender.  What I have realized is that it's time to put my big girl panties on.  To take my big girl pill.  For the past 16 years, I've been trying to get by on auto-pilot, on good enough.  And good enough just ain't cuttin' it anymore.  This is the message I'm hearing recently, again and again.  It's time to grow up and beyond.

And part of me really doesn't want to.  This part of me is angry, stamping its feet, pouting, clinging desperately to the status quo.

But another part of me knows that if I keep going as I have, then I will lose things that are very important to me, that mean the world to me.  And no part of of me wants that to happen.

It's time to switch drivers, to start listening to other voices in my head, to push up and out, beyond this hard shell of lethargy, fear and vanity.  What's inside has beauty and shadow, blood and guts, blossoms and decay.  Part of this growth is accepting that I am a mixture of positive, negative and neutral, black, white and gray.  That the positive is not always positive, same with the negative and neutral - it's all in flux, needed at different times, for different occasions.  That just as the bad shall pass ("...and this too shall pass..."), so will the positive, that it all flows.  At this point, it's about averages, the middle ground, the balancing point.

At the start of my yoga class today, the teacher talked about how yoga (and, ostensibly life) is like climbing a mountain.  To get to the top, you have to make the climb, keep going, adjusting to altitude, building muscles, resting and acclimating.  If you try to fly to the top and then survive, you can't because you haven't prepared.  But if you make the climb, put in the work, the effort, the sacrifice and the strain, then you can reach the top, you can stay and survive.

I have a mountain to climb.  I have to stop trying to find my ride to the top.  It's time to put in the work.  It's time to endure the pain, remembering that is when strength is built. 

The dog days are over; the dog days are done.  Can you hear the horses?  'Cause here they come.

Theme Song

Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too. oh.

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come

By Florence + the Machine

Monday, November 21, 2011

A friend date

On Sunday, I met up with a co-worker and went for a walk. It was so great to get out of the house and move and chat. Just an hour and a half and I felt so energized.

Plus, her two kids are 5 and 7 and you could converse with them. It made me excited for the girls and I to talk someday.

I've also signed up to do The Happiness Project and bought the book by Gretchen Rubin. It's about training yourself to be happier by creating your own happiness plan.

For Thanksgiving, we're having dinner with friends and their family. Then Saturday, I'll make a solo trip to Portland for a baby shower and Heather time. We plan to go to a sauna, eat Thai food, watch Love, Actually and go to yoga. Relaxing and rejuvenating.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Colorful Blog

Found via another blog I read.  Thought some of my crafty readers might enjoy:

The Color Issue

And, she's doing a fabulous giveaway (fingers crossed that I win!):

Thanks, Aarean!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Photo Card

Big Cubes Tangerine Baby Announcements
Graduation invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.
Photos by Aunty Ruu (aka Heather Binns) - thank you!!!

The Happiness Project

Thursday, November 10, 2011


I started a new blog over on Tumblr for all the quotes I've been collecting lately, on this blog, book marked on my cell phone, in emails.  As a resource for me - easy to search, a place to go when needing inspiration.  And hopefully, a place of inspiration for others.  Plus, I'm toying with the idea making a book for the girls of life inspiration; a way to give advice without really giving it.

Read on:

This is the correct web address! 

Parenthood is my crucible

I've been carrying that title in my brain and just wanted to get it down. Right now, everything feels very intense; I'm on from the moment I wake until both girls go to sleep. My job is ridiculously complicated and, when paired with parenting two small children, I feel I am on.all.the.time. I feel excessities are melting away, physically and emotionally, revealing new areas of strength and weakness.

I am humbled by those that do all I do and more.

I am awed that I have not quit yet, given up, run away. That I am learning to find the silver linings and wear them with pride.

Team Player

Ags is already, unwittingly, a team player. She got sick and I stayed home with her today; during her 3.5+ hour nap I've finally gotten the break, the downtown time I've so desperately needed.  Thank you, Ms. Aggie.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Just wanted to say...

Mimi is just so amazing. I know I'm her mom, but she is just fantastic. Tonight, we laughed together - not about anything, we just wanted to laugh. And she loves, loves, loves kisses. And smiling is her favorite hobby.

It is amazing to me, this thing called motherhood. And having the second babe has made all the difference. Workmans, you were right.

Love Chooses Us

Excerpt from: When the Words Don't Fit by Sarah Healy

So, I suppose that’s the point: Love chooses us.

My husband and I don’t have a great “meeting” story. We met in a conventional way and had a conventional wedding. And in some sense, we lead a conventional life.

But my husband has seen me at my worst, at my most vile. And he has seen me at my best. He knows the things I don’t tell anyone, and the lies that I tell everyone but him. I have made sacrifices for him and been angry about it. Sometimes his flaws are so egregious, so blatant, they are all I see. And sometimes his kindness is so stunning that I am humbled.

And that’s love. Big, epic, fairy-tale love. The kind of love people write about. The kind of love that could inspire a poem.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

This is only a test

Holy mother of god, what a week this has been. I won't rehash the details here but it's been a stressful one. Multiple situations in which I had to call upon my self-confidence to weather the bombardment. But weather it I did, so really it's a good thing, I guess. Problem areas have been revealed, as well as some...solution isn't the right word...more paths through the murkiness, though I don't know the state or destination of them. 

This week has also revealed that the girls and I have great relationships. (Though I must confess that I worry I don't pay enough attention to Mimi; I'm guessing this will change with time and the girls needs and will never be a perfect balance.)

The Good
- hosted book club and had a fantastic evening - really enjoy the company of those ladies.
- had lunch with two co-workers and found out one lives mere blocks from me - I may just yet have a friend in M-F!
- had my boss, his wife and two young daughters over for football watching and play date.
- Random Act of Kindness: let one of the day care teachers practice her English with me (she speaks really well but lacks confidence, and she feels safe with me to push her language boundaries).
- alas, no coloring (fierce scribbling with a black crayon might have been very therapeutic).

Overall, wonderful gifts, some in very yucky packages.

Thursday, November 03, 2011