Wednesday, May 12, 2010


So, it's also been an epic month for me.  As many of you know, I lost my job.  It was dramatic and sad and not unexpected and sudden.  I don't really feel like going into the details of it all again.  It's been 2 and a half weeks since it happened, and I'm focused on moving on.  One, because I have a tendency to dwell on things (thank you, OCD) and make myself and those around me miserable.  Two, so far, the change has been a good thing and I want it to keep being a good thing.  Three, summer is arriving, with all it's sun, warmth and blossoms - I just don't have the motivation to be bitter.

So far, I've applied for 22 jobs.  I had an interview yesterday.  I'm collecting unemployment.  J and I are trying to figure out how to make ends meet - a tricky but not impossible task.

I'm also trying to just enjoy.  Because, again, I'm funemployed (as I try to refer to it) during the best time of the year!  Plus, I can stay in my pjs all day, if I want.  I can watch endless hours of Bones, go for long walks with Bella, make coasters and read.  What I haven't done is pulled Aggie out of daycare.  One, she loves, loves, loves it.  Two, I am not a stay at home mom - it's not part of my biological make-up.  Three, finding infant care is difficult, so if we give up our spot and I then get a job, we'll be in a bind.  Four, honestly, I dread spending all day, every day with my child.  A couple days a week, not back to back, plus the weekend - doable.  Anything more, Aggie and I might both develop twitches.

Can you tell I'm a wee bit defensive about this?  I am because I've been asked about it.  And I know there are many moms who would love to be in my position to have so much time to spend with their babies.  To those moms, I send you my truest, most heartfelt wishes that your desires become reality.  Please send yours that I get a job I enjoy and that has a compensation that matches the duties the position requires and the skill and experience I bring to it.

I'm also just trying relax.  A couple days after losing my job, I made a long list of all the projects I could do while unemployed.  I've done a few.  But, I don't want to frantically fill up my time, then start a job and feel exhausted.  Also, I want to take this time to acknowledge that I'm a very different person than when I started my last job three years ago.  I have changed and learned so much.  Rarely have I given myself the time to slow down and take stock of who I am, what I have.  And I'd like to do that.  What are my interests, my passions now that I'm a mother, now that I've done a job, successfully both by my standards and others, that I thought I wouldn't be able to do when I started.  Now that I live in a small, rural community.  Now that I'm 33 years old. 

I've been asked by many how I'm doing and I answer them truthfully - pretty darn good.

(With that said, if any of you have piles of cash just lying around, looking for a home, I will gladly take those orphaned dollars in.)

7 months

What an epic month this has been.  Little girl is now a sitting super star.  She's so good, she can catch her big orange ball with her feet and hold it up over her head (with her hands).  She can bend over at the waist, touch the ground with her nose and sit back up.  She can kick and kick and not wobble.  I'm in awe of her talents.

She has two teeth, smack dab center bottom, that are sharp!  She likes to explore them with her tongue and use them to gnaw at the fleshy parts of my fingers.

She now weighs more than 18 lbs and is 27 inches long.  The very same as my friend's 4 month old baby boy.

She can wave, though does not yet really use it as a greeting or farewell - she just likes flapping her hand.

Her new favorite phrase is "Dadadadadadadadada."  And she loves it when it's repeated back to her.

She slept through the entire night for the first time.  She wakes up with big smiles in the morning, so happy to see me.

We celebrated our first Mother's Day together by going to her first livestock show.  She loved the pigs and the auctioneer the best, demonstrating it by jerking her body back and forth and wildly kicking her legs.  She petted bunnies through their cages. 

She still loves day care - all the big kids shout out her name when she comes through the door and she rewards them with one of her giant, beaming smiles.

She loves going on walks, in her stroller.  Being outside is heaven for her.

She likes standing now.  Rolling over is still no fun because it lands her on her tummy.

I can't believe she's already 7 months old.

Picture of the month: