Yesterday, a friend of mine emailed that he had taken on a task that was way outside his comfort zone and did I have any advice for him. I gave him some practical advice to help him get through the task, but then I was zapped by a lightening bolt and told him: while the task might be outside your comfort zone, it's not outside your capabilities.
I was very pleased with myself.
And then I realized that it totally applies to my situation.
Being an FTP to two under the age of two is totally outside my comfort zone, but not my capabilities.
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A few months ago, I was talking with a friend who is a mom to two tweens. She was lamenting her ability to be a "good mom." I stopped her and said, "you don't need to be a 'good' mom, just a mom." And later realized how that also applies to me.
Not just to me, but anyone striving to be a "good" anything.
For a while, I thought my advice was a bit foolish - that being a mom was like being human. And biologically speaking, that's true - just something you are and can't change. But not emotionally. I'm a mom when I show up every day and take care of that child by feeding her, playing with her, kissing her, etc. Some days might go more smoothly and more happily than others, but I'm still a mom, every day. Just like I'm a wife every day. And I used to be an employee every day.
Sometimes, showing up and going through the motions, that's enough because you're at least present.
I was very pleased with myself.
And then I realized that it totally applies to my situation.
Being an FTP to two under the age of two is totally outside my comfort zone, but not my capabilities.
----------------------------------------------------------
A few months ago, I was talking with a friend who is a mom to two tweens. She was lamenting her ability to be a "good mom." I stopped her and said, "you don't need to be a 'good' mom, just a mom." And later realized how that also applies to me.
Not just to me, but anyone striving to be a "good" anything.
For a while, I thought my advice was a bit foolish - that being a mom was like being human. And biologically speaking, that's true - just something you are and can't change. But not emotionally. I'm a mom when I show up every day and take care of that child by feeding her, playing with her, kissing her, etc. Some days might go more smoothly and more happily than others, but I'm still a mom, every day. Just like I'm a wife every day. And I used to be an employee every day.
Sometimes, showing up and going through the motions, that's enough because you're at least present.
1 comment:
Being present every day, assuming you're not the source of active harm, is a hellava lot better than not being reliable. It's pretty simple math: You can be a good parent or not if you're consistent. You can't be a good parent if you're not consistent.
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