Thursday, November 09, 2006

Rain and Mothers

So, you know what I hate? When it's raining (and it's been raining here quite a lot lately -- way more than usual) and people with umbrellas walk under the awnings, forcing fools like me without umbrellas to walk in the rain. How rude! And dumb! You have an umbrella sheltering your head -- share the wealth and let those of us sans head covering have half a chance of staying dry. Grrrrrr....

And you know what else I hate? I got on the bus last night and it was packed. I walked to the very back and took a seat between two people who appeared to have been on the bus for a couple stops. I sit down and my butt immediately feels soaked. I think, how did my butt get this wet outside? Then I realize it's the seat (since it's cloth covered, the wetness was not so visible). I feel the seat and confirm my theory. Then the chick sitting next to me says, "Yeah, that seat is really wet." Um, thanks? Couldn't have said that before I sat down, biatch?

And having not learned my lesson, I decided to call my mother back while riding the bus home. I know, I know, I was just asking for what happened when I dialed, but I like to talk to her on the bus because it's a distraction during the ride, and then I don't take up precious at-home time talking to her. Well, we really got into it, while I was on the bus, and I had to say some uncomfortable things, then watch my bus mates pretend they weren't listening (which is fine 'cause I would've been eaves dropping too). Anyway, the gist of the conversation with my mother was that she wants me to call her when I'm frustrated and upset about things and rant to her. Seriously. I think she would rather have me call her upset than happy. And it's not like I don't rant to her about things. But, apparently, that doesn't count unless I call her (rather than her calling me and ranting then). Just writing about this has made me see just how frigging ridiculous the whole conversation was. I am so frustrated with her right now. I love my mum -- she can be really great at times and a lot of fun. And I feel genuinely bad when I upset her because that's not my aim, but I want to be honest. I don't feel I have a genuine relationship with her, and I would like that, but whenever I try to address that, she just shuts down and blocks me out. She had a not so great relationship with her mother and she pushes too hard to have our relationship be like the one she wanted to have with her mom. Yes, she admitted to that (wholeheartedly, as though nothing were wrong with that). I just don't know what to do. She's in Arizona for the winter, so having a face to face talk isn't really possible. And even if it was, I'm not sure we'd make much headway. She's way in denial about many, many things. So, what to do?

Whew -- I did not need this drama this week. I had an interview Monday in WaWa, which went well. Hopefully, I'll have the final interview next week. J started his new job and really likes it (yay!). The house goes on the market this coming Monday (thank the Universe). The kitties have accepted me in J's vacuum, and we are bonding. Democrats are in charge of the federal and state congresses! Rumsfeld has resigned! And Britney Spears is getting a divorce! Yes, I am excited about that. It's so silly, I know, but I've been worried about her. I'm a worrier, it's what I do, and it's not restricted to me and those closest to me. I worry about a wide variety of things. I'm a diversified worrier.


Nanimal said...

Dude! Ok just found out about your blog. Um, don't tell anyone but I was worried about Brtiney too - lol. isn't that a hoot. She seems like a good kid and I just don;t like that K fed, fellow (me shaking a finger in the direction of K-fed...) lol. I'll be checking in from now on! I have to go watch some embarassing thing you did now... you can thank heath for the heads up!

liv said...

i love yer guts. i'm a worrier too, but honestly - i wasn't suprised to hear about Brit. i wouldn't be suprised if she came out of the closet too. there is just something about that girl that rings femme. or maybe i am just dreaming... ;)