Confessions

I want to give a shout-out to my good friend, Ms. H, and my husbandito, J. They went above and beyond this weekend, when I made a very bad decision. Ms. H had a house warming party Friday night, at which alcoholic beverages were served. And I drank. A lot. How much I couldn't tell you. You see, I have a problem with social drinking. I find social situations stressful (even with people I know and love), and I like how alcohol makes me feel (i.e, relaxed and not self-conscious). And I'd had a pretty stressful week, both at work and at home. So, I arrived at Ms. H's party without a plan on how to limit my drinking and just flew past the slightly tipsy phase straight into hammered. To make a long and gruesome story short, I wound up getting sick (not in the bathroom) and J and Ms. H had to take care of me during the wee hours of the morn, mere hours before a massive work party at my house with J's sister and her family. Needless to say, I was not able to assist the work party. J was tres disappointed in me and I was as well. I let him down when he needed me, was a massive pain the booty and ruined the end of a very nice party.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened. Yes, I have more such tales, one that involves me getting sick on J. He's quite the trooper and, obviously, very committed to me. So, a long time coming (too long), I have made the decision to stop drinking socially. I make very bad decisions when it comes to those situations, and I make very bad decisions when I have been socially drinking. So, no more. Not that I am asking you all to stop me if you see me drinking. Only I can do that. I will also provide my own non-alcoholic beverages. I do ask you not pressure me to drink. I'm a sucker for peer pressure, especially when alcohol is involved. Trust me, it's not pretty when I go too far and no one else needs to be subjected to that.

The reason this is a confession is because I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed by my actions this past weekend and on other occasions. Embarrassed that I can't control myself when it comes to liquor (or much else, but that's a whole 'nother post). But, I know there's no shame in taking control of a situation and doing something positive.

Okay, think that's enough confessions for one post. Whew.