Monday, September 25, 2006
A Good Moment
I was sitting on the back deck just now, alone, enjoying a small glass of red wine (from a box), looking at the few stars visible in the sky, feeling the cooling breeze, listening the cars on Sandy Blvd., watching Rachel (cat) watch a spider crawl up the door frame. J and I, we've created a good life here. The past couple of weeks have been great -- touch and go moments, but overall, very good. It's amazing, how good we can be to each other. When I stop thinking of myself as a "wife" and him as a "husband," things are easier. I remember why I married him. I remember I love him. I think -- and I can't speak for him -- that, at times, we get a little too wrapped up in those titles, with their expectations, stereotypes. All I owe him is respect and honesty. And that 's all he owes me. When I can break/ignore all the other "agreements" (see _The Four Agreements_ by Don Miguel Ruiz), loving and being in a marriage is relatively easy. Why do I make things so hard? I've been asking myself that my whole life.
Music: Arcade Fire "Funeral" -- started making a playlist in iTunes, pulling all my favorite songs from our Library and almost this entire album made it on there. They remind me of The Shins, of Modest Mouse, but there's a pinch of something more that makes it brillant.
Picture: Rachel, my silly, goofy girl. She's a tough one, not like most cats. She doesn't really enjoy pets, she loves to play and she's very vocal, with her grunts and meows and demands for cream on a daily basis. She still flees me, as though I may decide at any moment to kill her. Though, when we've been gone for a few days, she follows us around the house and lets us pet her, just a little. But she loves her Paul (the other cat) -- hopelessly devoted to him. And when she can relax enough, she loves a good chin rub.
at 9:45 PM