Whew!

Apologies for the radio silence (since I know y'all check my site obsessively).  Jason had another major allergic reaction, which started last Sunday and kept up all last week.  After three different steroids, he's finally doing better and back to work.  We have an appointment to see an allergist in a month to try to start see if we can figure out what triggers the reactions and how to stop/lessen them.  He hadn't had one in a year, so we've made some progress.

So between him and Aggie and Baby 2, I've been wiped.  It wasn't a bad week, just tiring.  Plus, I had some unemployment drama, which I think has been resolved (fingers crossed).

A couple things of note - Aggie is now starting to walk unassisted.  She can only do a couple steps at a time, but I'm just so darn proud.  I know, I know, at some point in the future, I will long for the days of crawling, but for now, I'm excited to see her progress and know that I stand a chance of not having to carry both her and her sister in my arms at the same time.  Who am I kidding? That'll still happen even when Aggie is champion walker, but at least it won't be absolutely necessary.

Speaking of baby sister, she's getting so big and has moved into my rib cage, occasionally compressing my diaphragm and stomach, leaving me out of breath and nauseated.  And prone to run-on sentences.

On Friday, I was able to take care of Aggie and a friend's 20 month old for three and a half hours ALL BY MYSELF!!!!  Granted, all we did was hang out and go to the park (and eat crackers and spill water), but no one was injured or anything.  Again, signs I might stand a chance at being a mom of two and all three of us surviving.

And (!!!) Jason scheduled his Vasectomy!  Hallelujah!

This morning, during an period of insomnia, I ordered some lovely iron-ons from Etsy (Applique Heaven - no false advertising there).  I have a ton of plain onesies (thanks, Hilleri!) and plan to decorate some for me and some for a friend.  The pic is of one I got for me (isn't that the raddest?!?). Can't wait to get my craft on!

The Path

Sent by my friend, Bruce, quoting Firefly, Episode 1.  Very apropos.

Kaylee: You're gonna come with us. 
Book: Excuse me?
Kaylee: You like ships. You don't seem to be lookin' at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest.
Book: She don't look like much.
Kaylee: Oh, she'll fool ya.

Kaylee: How come you don't care where you're going?
Book: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.

For the 'Rents

I used to refer to my parents as the 'rents.  I was a teen and thought I was clever and funny.  Now, not so much.

Anyhoo, I have found three wonderful blogs about parenting that I wanted to share with y'all:

- Finding Magnolia
- An Accident of Hope (okay, I've only read one blog posting, but I LOVED it)
- Offbeat Mama (was looking for advice on Extreme Couponing and found this gem)

Enjoy!

P.S. Yup, I have insomnia!  And sinus pressure and leg cramps!  Oh the joy of being 30 weeks pregnant.

So Much to Say

Many, many thanks to those of you who comment and send me emails about my posts.  They mean the world to me.  I don't have many friends where we currently live, so I sometimes feel a bit isolated and alone.  While I would prefer to see your loving face and hear your kind words, reading them is comforting.

Aggie and I have been going to a parent/toddler class once a week (but not this week because, you guessed it, Ms. Ags has an ear infection and a mild case of Croup - the price you pay for going to day care and building an immune system).  Part of the class is parenting discussion - last week, the teacher shared with us the idea of praising our children's efforts more so than their talents.  The idea is that by doing so, when they meet obstacles later on, they won't be as apt to give-up, because they are confident in their ability to try, try again.  Whereas, by praising intellect or talent, if they meet an obstacle, they might feel it is beyond their capabilities and give up.

I feel this ties back to my last post - that it's my effort I need to be focusing on, rather than succeeding (or failing, for that matter).  But by highlighting my failure, I at least recognize I have tried or am conscious of wanting to try.

I am used to being able to pick-up new skills rather quickly and easily; those that haven't come that way, I tend to give up on them.  My mother says that as a baby, I waited to do something until I knew I could do it - like with walking.  I never crawled; just one day, got up and started walking.  I'm noticing this tendency in Aggie.  She is physically able to walk - by this, I mean, she practices balancing, walks with her wagon, etc. - but mentally, she is not ready.  She hates falling, so I think she's waiting until she believes she can do it without falling.  So, I'm hoping, by praising and encouraging her effort, she might be less inclined to wait until she can do things perfectly before giving them a try.

And I think this is one of the reasons I struggle with parenting - everyday is a new challenge.  It's hard to feel like I've got my bearings because things are always changing.  The important thing is not success, but to try (and loop back to above).

Confession time - I used to be annoyed with those moms who talked of nothing but their children and being a mother.  Now, I understand and feel a bit more compassion.  Especially as an FTP, this parenting gig is all consuming.  But, I swear, I can talk about other things, like the government change in Tunisia, how Cuba is releasing a bunch of new self-employment licenses, that Nicole Kidman has a new baby.

Failure

I am failing at so many things right now -

- I am not exercising.
- The chore calendar may as well not exist.
- Complaining happens frequently.
- I'm not posting everyday.
- I lose patience with my child, my dog, my spouse.
- I'm eating sugar and gluten.
- Thank you notes are still not written.
- A project I promised would already be done is no where near being done.
- I didn't leave the house today, even to go to the mailbox.

It dawned on me that I did not have to beat myself up over these things.  That I could actually celebrate and embrace the failure.  And by doing so, maybe learn something.  So, here it goes.

Yay failure!

Amelia

We found a name!!!  Amelia (Uh-meal-yuh)!!!  Just before falling asleep last night, we were talking about names and J was all, "How 'bout Amelia?"  And I was all, "I like it."  And we decided to just run with it.  Because I'm too indecisive, he's too decisive and we rarely seem to meet up anywhere.  And, really, Aggie grew into her name and it fits her perfectly now.  Plus, I think I might nickname her Ah-meh-leah.

Whew.

Aggie's new room is pretty much done, so I'll start trying to have her nap in there.  Pics sometime in the next decade, I promise.

This weekend J is headed off to Reno to have a Boys' (Mans'?) weekend.  Boys' Five Day Excursion, actually.  He and a friend are driving to Reno, leaving me with Ags, the dog and two snarly cats*  for five days, all by myself.  What the hell was I thinking when I okay'd this?  But okay'd it I did.  Please pray for me.  Or light incense.  Or send me powerful narcotics that I'll stare at lovingly because I can't take them because I'm pregnant.

*Two cats, you ask?  Why yes, I completely forgot to mention (or did I?) that we have adopted another cat, KC.  She was living my J's parents, but did not adapt at all to the introduction of their newest cat.  She is quite a love, so we decided to take her home with us, thinking Hugo (aka, Butthead) would be just fine with her.  They are getting better with each other, but Hugo still likes to stalk her at times.  BUT she pooped in the kitchen sink yesterday.  I sh*t you not (tee hee).  Right over the disposal - we think she was trying to be polite about it.  A better option would have been to use the litter box.  We're working with her on that.  She seems to think going in the box is optional and prefers to pee right outside it.  Still, a love.  With a meow so scratchy, it sounds like she's smoked a pack a day for 10 years.

NYR

Happy New Year!

So, I was going to make one and only one resolution this year:

- Have a baby

Because so very much comes along with that one act, I thought it wouldn't be smart to put a lot of other pressures on myself or my family.

But, I've been reading around the blogosphere (I hate that term, so why did I just use it?), and found a couple things that were really neat:

1) Make a list of accomplishments you'd like to be writing about on 1/1/2012
2) Pick one word to focus on this year, instead of a whole list.

Mine are:

1) Feel, believe and live: I am enough, I do enough, I have enough.
2) Gratify

What's about you?

P.S. still no progress on the baby's name.  But I'm feeling oddly Zen about it at the moment.  Perhaps that will be her name - Oddly Zen Davidson.