Monday, March 28, 2011

Waiting...

Thanks to you who share your advice on tantrums and food throwing.  Very helpful.  We now have Aggie using a booster chair at the table and throwing instances have gone way down.  Now, who cares to explain why she goes down so easily for naps, but is utterly resistant to bed time?

We've had several requests for updates on Amelia - and we have none.  Still waiting.  I'm starting to feel more tired and regularly nauseated, with occasional Braxton Hick contractions, but that's it.  Still have a week until the due date.  My mom and I both think she'll come before then.

Speaking of my mom, she finished the quilt for Amelia and it's gorgeous!  I'll post pics sometime, eventually.

It's still wonderful having her here.  And she and Ags are thick as thieves.  So, emotionally, I'm doing a lot better, but I remind myself that this doesn't mean I'm over my depression.  She'll leave in a month and I need to be prepared for that.  I see my psychiatrist again on Wednesday and we have regular appointments scheduled.

Also...I've been reluctant to mention this (I'll get to why)...Aggie is going back to daycare full-time starting in April.  The main reason is because her daycare requested it.  It's their busy season and it's easier for them to schedule staffing if all kids are full-time.  And we want her to keep her spot there because I might get a job (*fingers crossed for one I applied for recently*).  And I know I can't handle Aggie and baby full-time. And I'm relieved Aggie, essentially, "has" to go full-time.  And I feel guilty (and apparently must compulsively use the word "and").  I know that daycare is flexible - I don't have to drop her off everyday or have her stay there a full day.  I just wish I could get the knack of this FTP gig. I think I've mentioned this before - I'm not used to not getting the hang of things or being good at something.  If I'm not good at it, I generally give-up.  In a conversation with my mom, I did acknowledge that I could give-up on parenting, I could, but I don't want to and that's important.  Obviously, I still have some issues to work out.  Thank goodness for health care covered therapy appointments.

Love to all of you.

1 comment:

heathre said...

love you ms. cora! i think it's great you will have some time with amelia one on one. you will find the right balance and i'm so glad you are continuing to work with the psychiatrist.