'Bout Time

So, as Nan correctly reminded me - it's time for a new post.  I've actually written several posts - all in my head - but that doesn't do you, my dear reader, much good.  Or me, really.

Things, they are going great.  It is heaven having Aggie back in daycare - I say that with just a twinge of guilt.  Yesterday, I actually missed her.  I actually thought about calling daycare to see how she was doing or sneaking down to pick her up early so we could play in the snow before dark.  The latter feelings - that's the first time I've had those.  And I don't miss her often - in the past, when we've been apart, I've been so relieved and grateful.  So, what do I do with myself on my child-free days?  Chores, errands, napping, doctor's appointments, shopping, web surfing.  And I get to do it all at my pace - that's the heaven part.  No trying to cram it in during a nap or getting it done during the span of Aggie's patience.  As a bit of a control freak (ahem) it's been difficult getting used to doing things on another person's schedule; I do it and we're all better for it but the yearning to do it at my own pace, on my own time, has not lessened.  I cannot imagine what it will be like trying to manage with two little dictators.

Speaking of being a control freak, this is my new favorite blog: Things Organized Neatly.  It's like a massage for my brain, all those images of things organized so precisely.  I literally sigh every time I look at one of the photos.

So, now that I have these two blissful days a week, I'm really starting to get the hang of being a full-time homemaker.  I had a job interview last week and I was hesitant.  It sounded like a good job - interesting work and people.  But I'm really digging this being at home thing.  Also, it required long, not 8-5 hours and I knew I'd miss the time with my family.  It was a great feeling.  (P.S. I don't think I got the job since they wanted to make a decision by last Friday and I've heard nary a peep.)

When Aggie is home, I'm working hard on finding fun and interesting things we can do together.  We're down to an hour of TV during the day and I try to make half of that the Spanish language DVDs we watch together.  On Monday, we went out and played in the snow - she loved it.  I dressed her up in her snow suit, plunked her down in the snow, gave her a snowball which she promptly shoved into her mouth and I built a snowman (a Jason snowman, in fact).  We had a great time.  She is starting to skip her afternoon naps, which makes for a long stretch of together time when my body would like to nap, but she makes up for it by taking long morning naps and going to bed early.

I worry that I sound like I don't love my child or like her or really want her around.  None of that is true.  What is true is that every time she smiles or laughs or claps her hands, my heart leaps.  Snuggle time is the best way I can imagine spending my time.  I just have a lot of internal struggles when we're not doing those things and those wipe me out - not her.  And when I lose my patience, I explain that to her and immediately change my behavior.  These are my issues, not hers, and I try not to make them hers to deal with (goodness knows I had to that enough as a kid with my mother).  Plus, I'm preggers, which is another full-time job on top of my already big job.

Speaking of which, BD2 is doing great.  We had the ultrasound last week and it's another girl!  Jason is thrilled.  I keep thinking we're having a boy and have to remind myself that no, it's a boy (see! I mean girl!).  Not that it really matters, I just find it interesting that I keep making that slip up.  I've been feeling her move, which is fun.  Monday, Aggie and I sorted through the infant clothes we kept - we still have so much despite giving away so much!  We are so very fortunate. And that which we did need, my dear friend, Hilleri, has supplied - thank you thank you!

So, that's what's up with me.  Other posts I've mapped out in my head - my chore calendar (yes, I made one and I'm very proud of it), living frugally, going green, marriage and the holidays.  I'll try to get to those.  One thing I would like to do is to start posting every day.  I want to become a better writer and I'd love to become one of those bloggers whose site attracts enough readership to generate income - essentially, I want to get paid for writing about my life and my interests, i.e., being me.  How great would that be?!  But, this blog is not currently doing that, so I gotta ramp it up.  I figure, writing for 15 minutes a day is a good place to start.  Now, I have to get over the hurdle between thinking about it and doing it.

Happy Thanksgiving - my very favorite holiday of the year because I love giving thanks.  And I give thanks for all of you who read my little blog and esp. for those of you who leave comments or send me emails about postings - it means the world to me.  Thank you.