Thanks to the three very special ladies who responded to my first post. In typical Cora fashion, I have not yet responded. Why? Has nothing to do with the ladies or their wonderful words. No, I simply retreated back into my shell, shy that such great people consider themselves my friends.
And a little embarrassed because I realized that I was hoping way deep down that they would tell me in detailed, step-by-step instructions, how to be a good friend. Thanks to their thoughtful, honest answers, I have realized that no such instructions exist and I was just being lazy.
So, where does that leave us? Well, if you have any insights you'd like to share, please do so. Here's what I've realized - I have a very limited view of what friendship should look like. My dear friend, Heather, is someone I consider to be a master friend. She has friends from high school (middle school even?), college, grad school and all the years in between and since. She sends care packages, holds parties, meets up for drinks and e-mails often. She's a super friend - everything I had grown up thinking was how you be a friend. And, I went to Smith College, where they practically guarantee that with the price of admission, you will make numerous life long friends. Well, I have one friend from college and she didn't even go to Smith.
Not to point the metaphoric finger at my parents, but my parents didn't have many friends when I was growing up, so I feel I didn't have a good example of how to make and retain friends. But I don't think it's their fault. I think I've just tried repeatedly to force myself and others into the same friendship mold. Obviously, well, only newly obvious to me, is that this mold doesn't fit and I need to let go (we all know how well I do that).
So, to ask one of my favorite questions, where do we go from here? Well, I'm obviously still struggling with the being open and intimate on a one-on-one basis. Suprisingly to me, I feel more comfortable, posting my feelings here on the blog, rather than sending an individual e-mail. I'll work on that. During the mean time, I hope you'll keep reading. Thanks.