Work...

is for saps, as a friend of a friend once said. While I like the job that I have and wouldn't trade it for another, I would trade in working, if I could. Of course, I say that as a working person, but would probably be bored out of my mind if I didn't have a job.

Still, it would be nice to be paid for just being me. To be paid for...

• Reading in bed
• Staying in my pjs all day
• Drinking cups of tea
• Watching Buffy and Angel and Starting Over
• Surfing the net for cool, inexpensive clothes and accessories
• The number of days gone without showering
• Doing loads of laundry
• Creating iPod playlists
• Playing computer games
• Taking walks
• Doing yoga
• Trying different flavors of ice cream
• Making and eating salads
• Number of glasses of fizzy water consummed
• Lipsyncing in the mirror
• Napping
• Learning to crochet

Of course, if anyone told me I had to do these things to get paid, my desire to do them would instantly wane. Curious how much I resist being told what to do by anyone, especially myself. Hmm...

Things...

Things I like about myself:

• my smile
• my hair
• my inability to say fascism
• tap dancing in elevators
• how i always start e-mails with 'hi'

Things I enjoy:

• making my cat snort
• my closet
• in-style magazine
• sweaters
• burritos

Hmmm...

So, this whole blog is supposed to be to help me fall in love with myself. And it's helping, a little. I make note all day of the little cute things I do, but I forget them by the time I sit down to write. I guess it will just take practice. Patience.

I just realized that I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. Good thing I am always prepared and carry one with me. Kind of a weird morning -- did get up to exercise but then felt off the rest of the time. Edgy. I haven't taken my pills since Monday and that might be the reason. Thinking of switching to Prozac because the Celexa is giving me an edge -- I'm a little meaner. Or maybe I always was and it's just coming out now. Probably a bit of both.

This morning, Jason wrote JED + CLD on the mirror. Very sweet.

Still afraid someone is going to read this and think its dumb. But if I'm the only reader, then I'm afraid I'll think it's dumb and I'm right. Why so critical?

I gave up religion ten years ago because I was tired of being judged by someone else's criteria (amongst other reasons). Yet, I still search for the "right" way to do things and worry what others will think, or worse, say. Ironic, no?

Hooray!

I arose at 6:03 am and excercised for about 10 minutes. Not much but a start. And I, obviously, didn't overdo it, so I will be back tomorrow.

I also had two days with no candy.

I still feel like someone is going to find this and read it and know my secrets. Why does that frighten me so?

For Me

This is a blog just for me. An electronic journal, as I do much better writing my thoughts when I can type, as opposed to long hand. I want to know myself better. I want to fall in love with myself. I trust the internet to keep my secrets safe.