Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hmmm...

So, this whole blog is supposed to be to help me fall in love with myself. And it's helping, a little. I make note all day of the little cute things I do, but I forget them by the time I sit down to write. I guess it will just take practice. Patience.

I just realized that I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. Good thing I am always prepared and carry one with me. Kind of a weird morning -- did get up to exercise but then felt off the rest of the time. Edgy. I haven't taken my pills since Monday and that might be the reason. Thinking of switching to Prozac because the Celexa is giving me an edge -- I'm a little meaner. Or maybe I always was and it's just coming out now. Probably a bit of both.

This morning, Jason wrote JED + CLD on the mirror. Very sweet.

Still afraid someone is going to read this and think its dumb. But if I'm the only reader, then I'm afraid I'll think it's dumb and I'm right. Why so critical?

I gave up religion ten years ago because I was tired of being judged by someone else's criteria (amongst other reasons). Yet, I still search for the "right" way to do things and worry what others will think, or worse, say. Ironic, no?

1 comment:

livvie said...

liv said...i feel this way all the time. isn't it interesting that somewhere along the way we are taught to stuff our positive feelings about ourselves? when i look at my eyes in the morning - before i am all stressed out - they are so blue. i love them! but god forbid i say that outloud. crazy.

i also hear what you are saying about what people will think about what you write. i feel that way sometimes. but just keep reminding myself that this is one space where it it truly just about me! xxoo