I Weigh 202 Pounds

A Fat Rant by Joy Nash

My one complaint - I have an exteremly hard time finding pants that fit. Either they're too small or too big -- at my size, I'm not quite plus size but not quite misses. Very frustrating.

Tumblr

The lovely Ms. Culotte Folle introduced me to tumblr.com, and I have created my own site. I decided to create one because Team D is broke, broke, broke, but I keep finding things I want to purchase or would go to. I thought having the site would be like shopping but without the spending of the non-existant funds. Ahhh...virtual shopping.

And I thought, maybe, just maybe, you might like to know what I would want to buy. Ahhh...narcissism.

Bella!

The verdict: to dog! We adopted Bella (full name: Mirabella, formerly known as: Precious, often called: Precious Bella) last Thursday. The first day she was quite nervous with us, but has since warmed up a whole bunch. She sleeps with us every night and has taken to sleeping on J's pillow.




Doesn't she look like a chocolate Easter bunny here?

We took her on a little road trip on Sunday, and she did fabulous in the car and out in nature. She is really only interested in other dogs and humans. We saw some horses and nada -- didn't hide, didn't try to sniff, nothing. Curious.


Bella also doesn't bother the cats -- at all. At first, I thought maybe she couldn't see them, then I realized that was dumb, because she could certainly smell them. Paul is coming around -- he's stopped hissing at her every time she gets remotely near. I think he's a little ticked that she doesn't pay him any attention and gets part of what he considers to be his ration of pets. Rachel just thinks Bella's a spaz and avoids her as much as possible. I feel bad for Rachel -- she's kind of getting ignored in this whole acclimation process.


So, yes, my life now revolves around my pets. After spending 40 minutes this morning taking turns petting each of the kiddos, I told J we needed to have a human pet session.

To dog or not to dog?

I'm thinking about adopting a dog (hence the title of the post). Actually, this dog here, Precious. Isn't she, though? She's a Corgi/Chihuahua mix, 6 years old. Not sure why she's up for adoption. The shelter says she's good with cats. Not sure, though, if my delicate flowers will be good with her. Rachel seems to find dogs curious, but they seem to freak Paul out (what doesn't, though?). J says he is lukewarm to the idea of getting a dog, but that the decision is up to me. And what a tough decision it's turning out to be. I've come to the conclusion that I can't really decide until I meet her, and I don't know yet when that will be.

I'm torn, though -- is it right to bring another member to our family who won't necessarily be welcomed by two members and only kind of welcomed by the third? Not to say that J won't be kind and loving to her, but he did explicitly say that the dog will be 75% my responsibility. I have a lot of what ifs running through my head, all fears that bringing her into the home will put a wedge in our family with she and I on one side and J and the cats on the other. I'm being overly dramatic, I'm sure (as I am known to be), but what if I'm not? Too many what ifs.

I want a dog for many reasons, and I've wanted one for quite a while. I like the idea of playing with her, taking her for walks, snuggling with her, taking her on care rides (she supposedly likes these). I know I will also need to take her out when it's pouring down rain or 20 degrees or I'm sick. And, yeah, that kinda sucks, but I think the bonding between her and I would more than make up for that. It does with the cats. But what if Precious and I don't bond? What if she never really comes around or, instead, bonds with J? Or, what if it's just like I imagine it and we're the best of friends?

What all this talk about adopting a dog has made me realize is that I'm not yet ready for a baby. I'm just getting into my new job and new town, and I'm just not ready for that kind of responsibility yet. I kinda see the dog as a step up in responsibility. And as a being to care for, who needs my care, but isn't so dependant on my care, if you know what I mean.

For the moment, I guess I just wait until I can meet her and get to know her a little. If you have any advice or words of wisdom, please share.

My Star Chart

I've always wanted to have a start chart done, but wasn't willing to pay for it. Thanks to my friend, L, I found a web site that does them for free -- http://alabe.com. If you are interested in reading my chart, enter this data:

Name: Cora
April 30 1977
7:25 AM
Time Zone is MDT
Boise, ID

What struck me after reading this is that I think the chart pretty much describes me, warts and all. As I was reading the report, I thought to myself several times: "True; need to change that." But then I started wondering - if this is who I am, why do I need to change? Can I even change? Or do I just need to be aware and use these to my advantage? A new way of looking at my "faults."